Post by SongMom8 on Mar 26, 2019 17:54:03 GMT
My mom passed away 10 days ago. She was 85 and had been suffering from declining health for about five years. I and my siblings were present when she passed. I did a lot of traveling between my home and where most of my family lives while putting together funeral plans. I was short on sleep, food, and water. After the funeral was over, a week after she passed, I felt like I could finally relax.
It’s been three days and I am thourougly exhausted physically. Emotionally it is a roller coaster. Sometimes I am at peace, knowing she is no longer suffering. But I carry around a heaviness in my heart. And every now and then I have to cry.
What is difficult is the feelings of guilt. My mom and I had a strained relationship in my late teens. I pulled myself away from her when I got married at 20. Our relationship was ok but maybe not as close as it could have been. I feel regret that I didn’t visit her or call her more.
I’m also angry because at 80 my mom sudddenly decided she was “old”. It was like she gave up on life. It bothers me that it seems like she decided it was time to stop living.
I love my mom and I miss her. In my head I know we both did our best, but in my heart I struggle with the negative feelings. How do I learn to let it go?
It’s been three days and I am thourougly exhausted physically. Emotionally it is a roller coaster. Sometimes I am at peace, knowing she is no longer suffering. But I carry around a heaviness in my heart. And every now and then I have to cry.
What is difficult is the feelings of guilt. My mom and I had a strained relationship in my late teens. I pulled myself away from her when I got married at 20. Our relationship was ok but maybe not as close as it could have been. I feel regret that I didn’t visit her or call her more.
I’m also angry because at 80 my mom sudddenly decided she was “old”. It was like she gave up on life. It bothers me that it seems like she decided it was time to stop living.
I love my mom and I miss her. In my head I know we both did our best, but in my heart I struggle with the negative feelings. How do I learn to let it go?
